


Paradox Peecosis

by CastielMorningstar



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Desperation, Embarrassment, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Omorashi, Protective Luther Hargreeves, Sibling Bonding, paradox psychosis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:22:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26502082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielMorningstar/pseuds/CastielMorningstar
Summary: Stubborn to not reveal how quickly he's going through the stages of paradox psychosis, Five tries to hide his need to pee.(In the show Stage 3- Excessive thirst and urination was not really touched upon, but here it is the main focus of course)
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Luther Hargreeves
Comments: 5
Kudos: 69





	Paradox Peecosis

Denial and itching those had been the first two stages of paradox psychosis, and Five had hit them quite quickly.

He’d drunk lots of liquids in hopes of quenching his impending thirst and preventing stage 3, but unfortunately it only seemed to speed it up and barely 5 seconds after meeting himself, Five had to pee pretty bad. He bit his lip and tried to power through it as he sat with him and explained what was happening, trying his best not to itch or squirm and give away to Luther just how quickly he was going through the stages.

“You good?” Luther asked as Five subtly squirmed in his chair.

His cheeks flushed and he glared, “I’m fine.”

Then his older self was declaring that he had to pee and venturing to the bathroom while Five groaned under his breath.

“I’ll go check on him.” Luther told him then headed after him, leaving Five alone.

He sighed and checked no-one was looking before subtly slipping a hand under the table and squeezing. He really didn’t want to excuse himself to the bathroom, especially not after his older-younger self had already done it; it would let Luther know that the psychosis was progressing quickly, and he didn’t want to appear weak.

But his legs bounced under the table as the need only increased, “Bloody hell hurry up!”

“Young man?”

Five looked up at the voice and glared at the owner of it, a concerned looking waitress, “What?”

“If you’re looking for it, the little boy’s room is just that way.” She pointed to the bathrooms and Five’s face blushed red. Was it that obvious?

He forced himself to become as still as he could and remove his hands from his crotch, “Thanks.” He muttered back, unsure of what else to say. But he still didn’t go. Luther and himself were still in there.

Finally, they emerged and Five knew he couldn’t hold it for much longer. He’d rather have Luther lecture him about causing danger to himself, then soil himself in front of his brother and his literal other self.

He mentally prepared to get up, then Old Five gave Five a weird look as he twitched and struggled where he sat, resorting to aggressively itching his neck to distract himself; also, it did itch, “Psychosis is setting in much quicker than I thought.” He commented in the smart-arse way that Five himself would.

Five glared, trying to still himself, now determined to prove to his old self that he was just fine, “I am fine.” He grumbled.

“Oh really?” Old Five raised his brows and picked up his half-finished beer, sliding it to Five, “You’d be fine drinking this then?”

Shit. He was onto him.

Luther just sat and watched them a like a tennis match, looking back and forth. Of course, he hadn’t figured it out yet, the moon definitely had lessened his brain cells.

“Of course.” Five grabbed the glass, trying to stop his hand shaking as he picked it up but just the sight of it made his skin itch anxiously and his bladder throb. He subtly crossed his legs under the table and raised it to his lips, a bead of sweat trickling from his brow. Then a sudden burst of air escaped him and alerted the other two men.

“You’re at stage four already?!” Luther demanded and Five put the glass down. Shit his cover was blown. But now he had no reason not to pee right?

Five quickly stood up, “No- “he lied even though it was pointless, but then another fart escaped him and he cringed, the pressure in his bladder making him press his legs together. He quickly headed for the bathroom, but Luther got in the way, “Luther move!”

“Then if you’re not at stage 4, where are you going?”

Damn maybe he wasn’t entirely dumb.

“I-“a wave of need hit him and he blushed deeply as he hunched over with need, grabbing at himself, “Fuck-“ he was not going to piss himself, no way.

Luther blinked in surprise as he saw his brother suddenly looking like he was about to explode, “Shit Five- “

Five tried to take a step forward but when he did he felt a warm spurt of urine escape into his underwear and he froze, “Shit, fuck, oh Jesus-“ he cursed desperately, “I gotta piss so bad-“ he didn’t mean to say it, it just came out, like everything else inside him was about to. Five knew his old self was watching and likely deeply amused by this, and also ashamed of him too for ruining their collective image, but right now he just didn’t want to piss himself, “Help Luther- “he whined out like a kid. He shouldn’t have waited too long and now he literally couldn’t move to the bathroom.

Luther had no idea what to do, but his technically older-younger brother was whining for his help because he was desperate to pee. It was weird and awkward yes, but Luther was a caretaker and that leadership really reared its head in others times of need. “I got you buddy.” He scooped Five up under the armpits-noting worriedly that they were quite sweaty- and basically carried him to the bathroom. Five was too in need to complain apparently and just let it happen.

Luther kicked the door open, his hands too busy holding his brother to open the door, and brought him to a urinal, “Here you go.” He placed Five down and stepped away to give him some privacy.

Five was deeply humiliated, but all his focus was on keeping his shorts dry, so he squirmed as he was brought to the bathroom then as soon as he was set down in front of the urinal, he fumbled for his zipper, but it was stuck, “No no no-“ he yanked on it desperately, squirming where he stood, another leak escaping.

“What’s wrong?” Luther asked where he stood by the sinks.

Five felt on the verge of tears, “I-it’s stuck!” he leaked again and this one was visible on the front of his shorts, “Shit!”

Luther had no idea how to help with that, and he definitely didn’t want to be seen yanking Five’s shorts open in a public bathroom, “Uhm…just pull them down instead?”

“I can’t they’re tight!” Five struggled with them desperately, the pressure from pulling on them really not helping his bladder, and the wet spot got a little bigger, now roughly the size of a credit card.

Luther felt helpless as his brother struggled, and all he could do was avert his eyes to give him some dignity. He didn’t know what to say and just stood there.

Finally, his zip gave way and Five groaned in relief as he aimed into the urinal and let it all go, “Fuck- “his stream lasted over a minute before it finally trickled to a stop. He was relieved that he hadn’t soaked himself, but he hadn’t gotten away scot free. He zipped back up and looked down in shame at his slightly damp shorts and sighed. The wet spot was in a horrible spot where it would only be wet for one reason, so it wasn’t like he could say the sink sprayed him or something.

“Everything okay?” Asked Luther awkwardly.

Five flushed and trudged to the sinks, washing his hands, avoiding any eye contact, “Not really- “

Luther’s eyes drifted down, and he saw the wet spot. Part of him wanted to laugh and tease, his inner competitive child wanting to mock Five for his lack of control. But his adult self knew better, “It’s okay Five. Shit happens.”

“It’s not fine! I am a 58-year-old for God’s sake!” Five was yelling, but is eyes were teary and Luther noticed his bottom lip was quivering too.

“Five- “

“Shut u-up!” Five’s voice broke then, and Luther blinked in surprise as his brother started to emotionally crumble right in front of him.

Luther didn’t blame him. Things had been horribly hard on him, not just trying to stop this apocalypse, not even just the other apocalypse. The kid hadn’t gotten a break since he was 13 and jumped into the apocalypse. The guy was probably emotionally wrecked, and apparently partially wetting his shorts in front of his brother had been the last straw that broke him.

Five turned away as the tears started to fall, sniffing and hating himself, “G-go ahead…laugh. I-I know you want to. I d-deserve it. I’m a fucking c-child.”

In some ways maybe Five did deserve it. He’d always been so self-righteous and ‘up his own ass’ and felt like he was better than everyone else. And yes, Luther’s own ego was so tempted to laugh at his brother, mock him for how pathetic he looked right now. But he really couldn’t find it in his heart to do such a thing. His brother was broken, exhausted, embarrassed and just needed something to help, anything. So even if he may get risk kicked in the nuts for it, he had to try.

“No.” he said simply, putting a hand on Five’s small shoulder and easily turning him around to face him, seeing Five stare at the ground and furiously wipe away his tears, clearly not wanting him to see. Luther wasn’t good with comforting words, so he just prayed for his balls, and pulled the boy in for a hug.

He waited tensely for some sort of pain, for a struggle. But instead to his continued surprise, Five hugged back. Luther felt him relax into his large chest, his small arms tightening around the man as much as they could with how big his upper body was, and how small Five’s arms were. And he heard Five actually start to cry. It was muffled by his shirt, but he still heard and felt the shaking of his brother’s sobs against him.

Luther let himself relax a bit, and he tightened his hold a little more, enough to provide comfort but not enough to hurt Five; he underestimated his strength a lot. “It’s okay.” He placed a gentle hand the size of Five’s head, on his shaking back, giving some gentle rubs, trying to simulate what their mother used to do when they cried when they were little, “We’ll figure this out together, okay? You’re not alone anymore, Five. We will do this together.”

He felt Five’s fingers clutch at the back of his shirt and Luther’s inner protective mother bear reared its head even more. Luther was the unofficial leader of the family, so he had to help make this right, he had to take some of this weight off his brother’s small shoulders.

They remained like that for a minute or so, before Five finally let go, sniffing and wiping his face with his sleeve. Luther said nothing and just wiped at his slightly damp shirt that had been stained by Five’s tears. Five noticed and looked sheepish, “Um…sorry- “he cleared his throat, voice still a bit shaky, “A-About all that.”

Luther shook his head, “It’s okay. You’ve been through so much shit, Five. I don’t blame you one bit. Y’know I hate to admit it, but you’re stronger than any of us.” That got Five to finally make eye contact with him, “You never give up, through all of the pain and hardship, you never did. What did I do? I went and sat on the moon while you fought your way back home to save us. I’ll never stop owing you for that.”

Five actually smiled, already looking like a weight had lifted from his shoulders, “You? Complimenting me? I never thought this day would come.” And his smart-ass remarks were back, and for once Luther didn’t mind and smiled back. It meant he was feeling at least a bit better.

“I know, I know.” He raised his hands, “I mean it though Five. We’re in this together. Team Zero remember?”

Five nodded, “Yeah- “he went to tuck his hands into his pocket then noticed what had triggered his little meltdown and his cheeks flared pink, “Shit.”

“Why don’t you tie your blazer round your waist? It should hide it.” Luther suggested and Five looked at him, considering.

He shed the blazer and did as Luther instructed and it mostly covered the stain, “Huh, I guess you do have good ideas sometimes.” Five smirked at his brother, but Luther knew it was a playful one, not an unkind one. But then it dropped, and he turned serious, “But if you tell anyone about this, I will tear you limb from limb, got it?”

Luther didn’t doubt Five actually would do that, “I believe you. I promise, this stays between us only.” He swore honestly, as tempting as it was to tell their siblings, he owed it to Five not to tell anyone, since he had saved their asses countless times it was the least he could do to repay him.

“Good.” Five took a deep breath, itched his neck and headed for the door and Luther headed after him. “Let’s go save the world.”

“Let’s go save the world.”


End file.
